


A Falling Star From Your Heart

by fairychangeling



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:31:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5615689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairychangeling/pseuds/fairychangeling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas sits in the passenger seat, watching Dean, wondering where this ride will finish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Falling Star From Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my amazing beta-reader, onceuponatmi. 
> 
> The title is based on 'Cosmic Love' by Florence and the Machine.

They’re the only car on the road.

Cas sits in the passenger seat, watching Dean, wondering where this ride will finish. Dean hasn’t spoken a word since he told Cas he needed to get out of the bunker, since he asked Castiel to come with him; a man on a mission. 

There is something compelling about Dean’s silence. It makes Castiel listen to the sound of the tires, the heavy noise of the car propelling itself along. The Impala’s engine grumbles to itself as it works carrying the two of them to whatever final destination Dean has in mind. Castiel likes the Impala. Although it’s made of metal and leather, it is an extension of Dean, filled with love. His care is obvious in the smoothness of the ride, in that satisfied grumble of the engine, in little touches that Dean has left with every repair.

Castiel feels safe in the Impala. It’s the same feeling he has when he’s with Dean. 

The faint reflected glow of the headlights cast shadows over Dean’s face. Castiel has looked at Dean in all sorts of light - backed by the glow of flames, bathed in sunlight, and painted by the silvery light of the moon. He remembers the way Dean looked in each of them, and he commits this image of Dean to memory too. He is fascinated by how the different sources highlight different parts of Dean, how in this light his freckles are hidden but his eyes are prominent, lashes long and dark. 

Abruptly, Dean jerks the wheel, turning them down a little side-road that Castiel hadn’t even noticed. His whole attention had been taken by Dean. 

This road is unpaved, created by tractors and farm vehicles, and before that carts and horses. The impala doesn’t protest, although it’s not a car built for this kind of driving. Dean handles it carefully, easing off and letting the car trundle gently until they arrive at the place it seems they’ve been heading to.

Castiel looks at Dean questioningly, one eyebrow raised. 

A field, big empty and dark, is not where he expected Dean’s quest to end. He thought they might drive to a bar or a diner, somewhere Dean could find burgers and beer, something to quell his obvious restlessness. Dean has been on edge all day. Castiel always watches him, it’s become second nature, and he’s noticed how Dean has been pacing, unable to sit still, unable to occupy himself with any task. When Dean had decided he needed to get out of the bunker, Castiel was expecting it. He knows that driving is soothing for Dean. Behind the wheel of the Impala is where Dean feels in control. 

Castiel half expected they would drive around in circles until they returned to the bunker, to home and to Sam. He didn’t expect Dean to drive them to anywhere as empty as this field. 

Castiel isn’t certain what Dean brought him here for. They are alone in the dark and without the comforting sounds of the Impala, this sort of silence demands conversation; but Dean doesn’t do that if he can avoid it. 

“Dean?” he asks. 

Dean turns off the headlights. 

“Come on,” Dean says, as he opens his door, letting in the cold night air, and disappears into the blackness.

Castiel doesn’t hesitate. He has no idea what Dean is planning but that doesn’t matter. He opens the passenger door and follows him into the darkness. 

Dean finds him a second later, his hand on Castiel’s arm, reassuring despite how strange everything else is. 

“Look up,” he says.

The brightness of the stars takes Castiel’s breath away. 

They aren’t dimmed like they are in the towns and cities he has spent so much time in since he began following the Winchesters. They are twinkling, beautiful and so very bright, on the velvet black backdrop of the sky. They seem so close like this that Castiel almost believes he could reach out his fingers and touch them. It makes his heart ache to see them, reminds him that once he was like them, distant and remote. 

That feeling, that longing for a life that is long gone, lasts only a second when Castiel glances away from the stars and back towards Dean. Distant and remote. That was exactly what he had been. He’s not remote now. 

Dean’s hand is still on his arm. He looks up at the night sky, his mouth slightly open, awed by the beauty of the stars and Castiel suddenly feels warm all over. 

He is humbled by this, by the beauty of the stars and by the beauty of Dean, who chose to share this moment with him. Dean who doesn’t even know how beautiful he is right now. Even now, after all they have been through together, Castiel still finds Dean the most wonderful thing in all of his Father’s creation. 

Dean looks away from the sky, straight at Castiel, and even in the darkness Castiel can see Dean’s cheeks brightening. He was not expecting Castiel to be looking at him. He was not expecting Castiel to catch him sneaking glances back. 

“Cas,” he says, and his voice is tight. 

“This is beautiful,” Castiel says. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Dean relaxes visibly. He curls his fingers around Castiel’s arm, the gesture gentle. 

“I thought you’d like this,” he says. 

They lapse into silence. Castiel can tell that Dean wants to say something else. He guesses this has something to do with whatever made him restless this evening. He waits patiently for Dean to find the words to tell him what it is he needs. 

“I come out here when I need to think,” Dean says. “I found it once when I couldn’t sleep. I kept driving around, kept searching for something and then I wound up here.” He pauses, looking up at the stars, a smile stretching on his lips. “I haven’t even told Sam about this place.”

Castiel feels grateful that Dean was willing to share this with him. More than just a field and beautiful view of the stars, Dean is sharing a part of himself that no one else knows about. 

“Cas,” Dean says, and Castiel thrills to the sound of his name on Dean’s lips. “Cas, tonight, I needed it to just be us, you know? I needed to tell you...I want to tell you…”

Castiel knows that Dean is frustrated, and for a second, is frightened about what Dean is going to tell him. There have been too many secrets between them, too many bad choices. 

Dean’s hesitation is brief, though. “Fuck it,” he mutters to himself and surges forward.

Castiel is not expecting the kiss. Like many things about Dean, it’s brash and determined, and Castiel melts into it. Dean pulls him forward, presses the two of them together, and kisses him over and over until Castiel feels dizzy. 

Castiel pulls away slowly, licking his lips and breathing deeply. “How long have you known?” he asks. 

He’s always been in love with Dean. From the first moment he laid eyes on him in Hell, loving Dean has been part and parcel of Castiel’s existence, but he’s never hoped for his love to be returned. 

“Too long,” Dean says, the words coming out in a huff of laughter. “Too long where I didn’t do a damn thing about it. I had to change that.”

Castiel nods. He never thought this would be where Dean’s restless drive would lead. He never would have believed that he could be enough for Dean. It had to be Dean who made the first move, it had to be Dean who changed everything. 

“I’m glad you did,” he says, leaning back in for another kiss.

This kiss is slower, less desperate than the ones that came before it, but no less passionate. Castiel has been waiting to do this for years and he takes his time exploring the new sensation of kissing Dean. This is something he wants to study in its entirety, to learn everything about. 

“What about you?” Dean asks when he reluctantly pulls away, panting a little. “How long?”

Castiel looks up at the stars again. For eternity, he thinks, but that isn’t completely true. He knew a life before Dean, a life where everything but Heaven’s plan was pointless. When he met Dean, he found a new purpose. For Castiel his life divides neatly into a life before Dean and a life after Dean, and for the eternity of his life after Dean he has been in love. 

“Since the beginning,” he says, looking back at Dean. “When I pulled you out of Hell, I think. I knew everything would be different, but I hadn’t realized just what that meant. It took me far longer to realize I’m in love with you.” 

Dean is silent. Castiel wonders if he said too much, if the weight of knowing just how long Castiel has been in love with him is too heavy, but then Dean cups his cheek, stroking his fingers along Castiel’s face. 

“I love you too.”


End file.
